walking hand in hand

3 years later...

2011-03-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

In 3 years time a lot can happen! You know, I actually forgot that I had this blog... but it has been SO incredibly refreshing and amazing to read my old posts from the past and to know how God has answered, changed, pushed, pulled, moved and healed me since the last time I wrote.
There is something to be said about writing. It's freeing and can also be considered therapy for some. All to say, I am going to try and give this blog another try. In 3 years time a lot has happened in our life, and I am not going to claim to catch up the past 3 years of our life, but I will say this...it is my goal to use this as a place to continue to share and grow.
Life is an interesting thing and even more so when we are following Jesus. He has taken me many places that I never thought I would be taken. Not necessarily physically speaking, but emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Jesus has caused my life to be nothing like I had necessarily dreamed of as a little girl or even as a college student, but it has been MORE then I could have imagined for myself.
I am thankful for the past 3 years....and here's to many more full of LIFE!

summer-rest

2008-06-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

As you can see i finally got some pictures up! it took me a little while to figure it out, but they are on!
yes, we are still in the porcess of finding someone to buy our lovely townhouse- if you know anyone interested please don't hesistate to leave a comment or give us a ring! ha!
my sister and her family just left this past week on their missional journey around the US. I am so excited for them and anxious to hear about their many stories. If you don't know they are traveling around the US in an RV to minister to the homeless and helping churches get connected to these marginalized people. It's exciting and something that God is truly going to meet them in a place of utter selflessness.
My sister and i are very close- i don't think it's truly hit me yet that she is far, far away. I am used to her living close by so that i can just give her a ring and stop by to hang out or have coffee and chat. I am so proud to be her little sis and couldn't ask for a better model to follow!
In the midst of family leaving (seren, andy and their 3 kids) my job is over for the summer since i work at a school. I have found that i have time on my hands that i haven't had in a while. Granted we do have other things going on and i am working part-time, but God has truly given Cory and I some time to just reflect and seek Him out. Some could go crazy with "time on their hands" and i could be one of those, but i am conciously trying to fill it with good things. Family, friends, reading, gardening, etc. This is what summer is all about right?
The Lord is taking Cory and I into a place of complete surrender and trust with our home, work, school, etc. I am thankful for a time of rest to focus on Him!

2008-04-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

I thought it was high time that i wrote something agian on my blog. Life just keeps happening whether or not we have time to sit down and blog about it!
Spring seems to always bring change, no matter how big or small. Well ours is the former in my eyes, but in God's eyes it's the later.
We are selling our home (which is on Craigslist) not a small feat at the moment. It doesn't seem to be the best time to really be wanting to sell a home, especially when you want it to selly by June.
God has definately been stretching me through this process, and boy has it been a process. He originally called me out of the home taking me out of comfort from our place of living and my job. Since then God hasn't stopped stretching me. He has given us a roommate which has been stretching but a blessing too! I am enjoying living in community and think it's awesome how I have realized how we are meant to really live like this.
Through all of these changes and challenges God has been good! He is always good no matter what and always worthy of priase! This is something i am constantly learning and holding onto even when I am down or feel pushed beyond my limits, God is always good and worth praising!

Pointing to Jesus

2008-01-28T14:32:00.000-08:00

I had a unique opportunity yesterday to speak with someone I had not spoken to for a long time. Within that time this person had lost their son in a terrible tragedy and therefore has been struggling with depression, daily. I don't think she is a Christian, but I don't think she is against believeing in God. The only reason why I know this is because in my conversation with her yesterday the Lord was tugging at me to ask her if she had a relationship with the Lord.
For whatever reasons I never ended up asking her and just stood there praying for her as we were talking. Our discussion was hard as I listened I heard her spirit cry out for something, anything to keep her going. She told me she didn't have much more to live for. It was also in this moment that I was confused, hurting for her and scared all at the same time. Of course our situation wasn't ideal for me to mention Christ or what He had done for her ( a soccer game of course) but when is it ever the right time?
I went home that day wondering why I had not mentioned Jesus' name, or even asked her where she stood in her faith, or if she even had any. I prayed about it and gracefully the Lord has taught me something profound through this situation.
He told me that as a believer in His Son, I will be given the job of pointing toward Jesus daily. That many opportunities will arise for me to share my faith and give someone else the opportunity to accept Him. It was in this that it became more visible as to why God even uses me. He longs to use us and each day He tries to use us, but it's ultimately our decision to say "yes" today I will accept the mission I have been given. Today I will share You with others and not keep you hidden. The Lord told me that my faith is not judged, nor is it measured by whether or not I told that lady yesterday about Jesus. He told me that He doesn't love me any less either. He did say that in order for me to grow deeper with Him I will eventually need to obey and know that He is speaking. That in those moments that I hear His still small voice, I will choose to speak and not remain silent.
This small but profound moment, causes me to choose to be BOLD! I choose today to share Jesus where needed. I will continue to look to Jesus in order to be prepared for the people He may give into my life to share His Son with.

2008

2008-01-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

I know the year 2008 is going to be something to remember. It was about this time last year that the Lord began to speak to me about who He really is and how He wants to use me.
That is actually the whole reason why I began to use this blog in the first place. A place where I could write down my thoughts, frustrations and revelations! A place where I could be encouraged by others and for God to encourage others through me as well.
January must have some sort of significance to it because the Lord has been clearly speaking to me again. This time it's a different type of speaking, He is teaching me about the eyes and ears of my heart.
This week has been a very draining week; spiritually and physically. I wasn't quite expecting to experience some of the emotions and thoughts that I have had in the past days, but they have been good... hard but good.
A couple of days ago we had some students from the H.S. over to our home to watch a DVD about the Ugandan children. The DVD is called "Invisible Children" and for those of you who don't know what it is, I will post a linc. Anyway, these children leave their homes and families because of what is going on in their country. Rebbels are forcing the children to fight in a war to take over their own government. The children are trained to kill, fight and live with the army that they have built. The documentary we watched is very hard to see. The children that flee their homes, schools and families go into the city to find a safe place to live so that they are not taken captive inot this war. It was in this story that the Lord began to show me how it must feel to be one of those children. At one point the interviewer asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy couldn't look into the camera and was on the verg of crying the entire time. It was in this instant that I could see and feel how much pain, shame, and guilt this little boy had from that very simple question. A question that we as American's get almost every day as a young student. But this question wasn't so simple for this young boy (12). Inside there wasn't a reason for an answer, no hope for an answer. When the boy did answer he said he wanted to be a teacher.
The next day I had a similar experience of something God was trying to show me. There is a girl here at our H.S. that has many emotional issues. She suffers from depression and other self-destructing symptoms and there have been many days that I have sat with her and tried to comfort her. But on this particular day it wasn't just a manic girl that I saw. I saw a girl who was sad, so sad that she couldn't be normal like the other kids. A girl that was tired of fighting whatever it was inside of her that made her want to hurt herself.
That day I went home and cried for the hurting children in our world. For not only the children, but the people that suffer for no reason. The Lord allowed me to feel just a tiny bit of what He feels every single moment. It was too much! I asked the Lord to take it away because I couldn't do it.
Our church is presenting the opportunity for a fast January 28th-February 1st and I am anxious to see what He chooses to do with that time. The Lord is faithful and I am waiting expectantly for what He wants to do through me and how He wants me to pray!
Psalm 96

Beautiful Mountains!

2007-12-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's like I have writer's block or something, I have so many things to say but don't quite know where to start.
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about being obedient to Him. I just started a new study with my bible study group called How to Hear God's Voice by Mark Virkler. I am very excited to dive in and soak up every single little thing the Lord has for me in it!
This is all leading to say that the Lord longs to speak to us so much more than we can hear Him. I tend to get frustrated when I go up and down with my ability to hear God and can't quite stay on an even level with it all. But I am learning that if I were to stay on that same level all the time I wouldn't be growing with Him. I am learning that with God leading the way there will be ups and downs as I am climbing that mountain. And once I reach the top there is just going to be another one that I will have to climb.
A couple of weeks ago Cory and I had an interesting thing happen where someone came out to look at the home we were renting from the church. He was an investor and wanted to look into using the homes for ministry purposes. Let's just say many feelings were going on inside me and the moment the man left I broke down into tears. I started asking God why this was happening and that I didn't understand.
Later that afternoon I went for a run. I could sense that God really wanted to speak to me, so as I was listening to worship music He began to speak. "Samara, why are you scared? Why do you care so much if you loose this home? You know that I will take care of you! I have already asked you to go over a mountain once before, so why do you insist on being content with the little hills? If I ask you to go over another mountain I can guarantee it won't be easy, but I will be with you! I will help you!
As I continued my run I realized that every time I go on this particular route I skip a large hill and just turn arond and go back. This time the Lord wanted me to go up it, so I did. Once I got to the top He asked me "What do you see?" All around me was beautiful sceenery, mountains, and a gorgeous sky. He said "Every time you climb a mountain with me you can see more of My beauty!"
I long to be obedient, I strive to be obedient to what God is saying to me. Often times I fail, but I keep trying. I get back up and allow the Lord to comfort me even when I don't feel worthy of it.
I am excited to learn how to better hear God's voice. It's something that I yearn for each day.

Called...

2007-10-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

I just recently have started a book that I read a long time ago and decided to read again. It's called "Called To Honor Him" by a guy who helped start a ministry with Youth With A Mission. I started reading it last night and the Lord already began to speak to me through it.
The author Sosene talks about how the Lord called him into the ministry that he is in now, but that it took a lot of growth and learning to get him there.

He wrote "I couldn't wait to find out what God was going to do next. I didn't understand that i had an awful lot of growing and learning to do before He would- or perhaps could- do anything else. Because I had been in church every Sunday for so many years, I suppose I vaguely knew the biblical account of the Apostle Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. But what i didn't remember was that after that experience Paul went into the desert for three years to be made ready for the work God wanted him to do."

As I sat on the couch this morning reading those very words the Lord spoke to me right where i was at saying, "Samara, even though I have a plan for you and Cory a ministry that I have called you to, I need to teach you a few things before we can get there. You aren't ready and if I were to send you now it wouldn't be as amazing as it could be, then if I were to prepare you for the next few years."

Looking back on my journey as a born again Christian the past 7 years have been full of moments like these. There have been times that the Lord wanted to take me to the next level but He needed to teach me something first. There have also been times when i didn't listen to God and went my own direction and now I see how much of a failure those times were.

It's amazing to me how God doesn't let go of His call on our lives. It's been 7 years in the making and counting that I first knew I was called to work in missions. God is so faithful and good to place a hunger and call on Cory's life for this exact thing too! We are anxiously waiting for this time to come, but in the mean time we are trying to soak up all that the Lord wants to teach us!

Season of Preparation

2007-10-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

The Lord has really been challenging me lately. We just finished up our season of soccer for the 2nd year here at the school and now we have more time on our hands... meaning time for God to use us!
Over the past few months the Lord has been revealing to me and Cory that we are called to the mission field. Currently our mission field is here at the school and with the kids here, but soon it will be in another place. God has been remindng me to be praying for this and how He wants to be preparing me for the next phase.
Preparation is a funny thing. I have a hard time focusing on the here and now when I know that I will be somewhere else in a litle while. But God has us in each place and stage in our lives for a reason, preparation. God is so good to us that He doesn't ask us to go into something blindly. As long as we are seeking Him and His will, He will be faithful to show us what to do and when we need to do it!
As for now, God has been showing me that the time I have right now is valuable and not a waste. Instead of looking to the future and where we are to go, He wants me to be focusing on the now and how I can learn from it!

holy ground

2007-09-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

God is so cool! You wouldn't have heard me say that some 7 years ago....
Life has been fun lately and I'm not just saying that because I have a blog that no one really reads, but I really mean it! God is the coolest person ever!
The Holy Spirit has been teaching me about walking on holy ground wherever I go. Let me back up a few moments and explain myself.
The Lord gave me a vision of Moses and the burning bush and while I was meditating on this the Lord also recalled some of the scripture when the Lord told Moses to take off his shoes because he was standing on holy ground. As I turned in my bible to that very passage the Lord began to speak to me about why He was showing me this. The Lord said "Samara, becuase you have the Holy Spirit, Jesus lives inside of you. Jesus wants to heal people through you and use you in ways that you have never seen. Therefore, always remember that where you stand is holy ground becuase Jesus/God is with you and in you wherever you are. Not just in Church or in a special place, God is always with you. So when I ask you to do something in My name and you say 'here I am' humble yourself and do as I ask because I am the almighty powerful God."
I believe this word wasn't just for me. It is for everyone who has been called and set a part for the Lords purpose. We are no longer ourselves, but Christ that lives in us!
Ex. 3:3-5
"So Moses said, "I must turn aside now and see this marvelous sight, why the bush is not burned up." When the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, "God called to him from the midst of the bush and said,"Moses, Moses!" And he said, "Here I am."
Then he said, "Do not come near here; remove your sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground."

Life on the Horizon

2007-09-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

So you thought I left... nope, just got distracted for a bit!
Wow, life has been a whirlwind! Life seems to be getting a bit more under control now that I am back in cyberworld. Since we moved (Sept. 1st) we have been without email- except at the school- but we are now connected! Life is so much easier with computers and internet, i definately take it for granted.
So, what has happened since I last wrote? Alot! First of all we love our house! Its a little ranch style home nestled into a semi-woodsy area. We feel like we live on a farm eventhough we are 3 seconds from a main road and a school. We love our commute to work, which takes me about 2 minutes in the car (yes i drive it's pathetic). Cory is going to Multnomah Bible College and loves his classes. He is taking 11 credits, one shy of a full load. We have found that we received government funding so that was an answer to prayer also!
Our soccer team just won thier first league game yesterday 1-0! woohoo! Lets hope this is a foretelling of how the rest will be! :)
Last, but not least our ministry here is starting to unfold. For me the first 2 weeks were very challenging. I am someone who needs to be busy and needs to feel needed. My job is exactly the opposite of that. In fact, they basically created a job for me so that I could serve here. The Lord keeps reminding me that in the beginning I didn't even know if i was going to be working at the school, let a lone being paid for my work. God is good. Now i have to continually allow the Lord to remind me that my first calling is to Love Him. Second is to love the girls at Horizon. As long as I am doing those 2 things, I am doing the work that I am called to do.
I am slowly gaining the respect of the girls and the Lord is opening doors for them to hang out at our house and for me to share with them my own experiences as a young Christian.
If at all possible please join Cory and I in prayer for our American teenagers. There are so many hurting kids out there- the Lord loves them and keeps reminding us that He has already paid the price for them. Grace is free! They need to know that God is powerful and that He is greater and more powerful than anything else in this life.

1Peter 2:21 "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps."

Can't keep up!

2007-08-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since i have written and i don't have many excuses... just that life is going too fast! :)
Next Saturday we move into our new house that's right on the campus of Horison HS! Yeah! Many prayers later God is truly letting us know how much He desires us to be ministering at this HS! We are so excited!
Soccer started this past week and on Thursday we took our team to Seaside for an overnighter. I think we got about 5 hours of sleep and the girls, probably around 3. Needless to say we were all tired and ready to be home Friday evening. It was a blast, hopefully the girls thought so too!
So my days consist of packing, soccer, packing and packing some more! My problem is I am going to run out of boxes soon.
We are looking forward to all of these changes, along with cory starting his own classes at Multnomah on Monday. We are still praying for money for him to go! If you think about it give him a shout out for us... the first time they sent us the financial aid info it got lost in the mail- not good. The money is due Sept. 3rd, very soon!
Better get ready for good ol' church!

~Samara

Changes

2007-08-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

So our adventure continues! I have realized lately that life changes too quickly to try and keep up with this BLOG thing! ha! But I will keep trying!
Well, I am officially jobless... my last day at my job was last Tuesday and it's been amazing having this freedom! I have applied to work at a Christian HS for this next year, but that won't start until September. In the mean time we are selling our home to some friends of ours and moving into our new place September 1st! God is so good and He has provided us a place to live right on campus! We are so excited to begin pouring into the lives of the HS students at this school. We just started our soccer practices this week and will be coaching the girls varsity team together. We can't believe how God has blessed us with an opportunity to work together as a married couple- we were meant to do this!
Life is good, I am just trying to keep focused on what God has promised me and Cory. We just need to keep obeying Him and He will continue to do the work. We are just His hands and feet, doing His work by His Spirit!
Our biggest prayer is that we have money to provide Cory to keep going to school. He is at a Bible college and is on his way to work towards getting an undergrad in Christian Ministries. This is an important part in what we feel God's plans are for us.
I will keep you posted on what happens next in life's BIG adventure!

Chasing our Lions!

2007-07-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

"Whenever I counsel someone who is wrestling with discerning the will of God, I remind them of this simple truth: God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go...."

"We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph. 2:10

-- Adapted from the book In a Pit With A Lion On a Snowy Day

My husband and I have recently made some huge decisions that we felt like God has called us to do. It's exciting and faith building and scary all at the same time. It's been faith stretching for sure, something i have always wished i could experience.
I love the message that this book gives....hope. It's not often that you read a book that encourages you to step out and chase down a lion! I mean it's probably one of the most foolish things a person can do considering what odds are against us. But God says something completely different when it comes to trusting Him and having faith in Him. It doesn't matter how big the Lion is or how scary the Lion may be. God promises that He has already prepared in advance, things for us to do! So if we are doing what is in the WILL of God we can't go wrong.
Isaiah 55:8 also says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,declares the LORD."
This verse has given me so much comfort over the past month or so. During the times that i feel like I am being foolish and chasing after something so much bigger than I am, God reminds me how powerful and mighty He truly is.

Come Away With Me

2007-07-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Norah Jones- Come Away With Me

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

This song sort of depicts how God has been calling me into His arms. He wants us to "come away with Him"! He wants to take us to the mountaintops and to fly together! I love that!

Fireworks stand?

2007-06-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

I think it's fun when life doesn't really make sense. Does that make sense? Like for instance, my husband is living in Florence for a week selling fireworks in a stand all by himself and honestly i can't really tell you how it all happened. So he is basically living out of a box, not taking a shower, filling his time by reading, talking with customers and way too much time to think. But he would tell you that this experience (although not ideal) has turned out to be amazing. I mean he is literally living as if he doesn't have a home- homeless. He has had time to do things he has always wanted to do, but never "had the time". How often do we say "i wish i could but i am too busy". When was the last time we made the decision to actually do something instead of just sitting on the couch watching television?
This experience, although short, is making an impact on who my husband is going to become and continue to become. He didn't understand why the guy who was supposed to go with him bailed at the last second or why he didn't have a place to sleep and ended up staying in the fireworks shed or why he couldn't find the public showers, but he knows now that something that initially didn't make sense now has meaning.
This small instance has implications far larger than i can explain. I know writing this- for those that actually read this- can understand how our lives can be molded by the strange and faith based decisions we make every day. Some are small and some are BIG, but God has something larger planned for us all. I take comfort in that.
Jer. 29:11

He Knows Best

2007-06-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

It seems recently that the Lord is trying to tell me something. Since i created this blog-last week- a couple of strange things have happened. i don't normally see my life as an exciting one or something out of the ordinary, but i think that the Lord is trying to call me and Cory into soemthing deeper. As you know last week i got an anonymous email encouraging me and helping me know that God is near. Well yesterday was another one of those instances. Cory and i had a long weekend and we were driving back from listening to a Holocaust survivor speak at a home in Tualatin (very interesting). Anyway, we had forgotten to fill up our gas tank and as we exited off the freeway and into Canby we realized our car was starting to sputter! Knowing that a gas station was a good 10 miles away from this point i looked at Cory and said "i really don't feel like pushing the car today"! As we coasted down the hill into Canby our car finally died and we pulled over to the side of the road. As we were coasting down the hill we had noticed a van pull over to the side of the street and Cory and i thought that maybe they would help us. So as we stopped at the bottom of the hill we turned around and there was the van! When we got out we realized it was some people we know from our church. They had no idea it was us because they didn't know our car, but when we stepped out they were surprised to see us! As they drove us back to get our other car i kept thanking God and realizing how much He knows what's BEST! Ironically our sermon that morning was on the same thing and that was God's little way of showing me that i can depend on Him. That WE can depend on Him even when we don't know we need to.
This small little experience was probably better than anything i could have read or had anyone tell me. Its the things that God allows us to experience in life that speak Truth to our circumstances.
Thank you God for thos circumstances!

little whispers

2007-06-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

isn't it awesome how the Lord brings encouragment without us doing anything? today i got a small taste of just how much the Lord really loves us. this morning i was sitting at my desk at work when i heard my cell phone buzzzzzzz. i picked it up to see who text messaged me (love our technology) and here is what it said ,"have a wonderful glorious day in the Lord today! And show that smile of yours! It might just make someone's day!"
normally this would be exciting and i would be able to reply back to this amazing person who sent me this encouraging note, but i am still unable to track down the owner of the message. i won't post the phone # on my blog as i may offend someone or people might take it for granted, but i will thank that person (whoever you are) for how you encouraged me today!

-Samara

The first one...

2007-06-07T16:04:00.000-07:00

ok bear with me as this is my first post on this blog! i hope that i can do it justice and keep my family and friends up to date with the exciting happenings of our young married life!LOL.
i am unsure as to who will actually take the time to look at this on a regular basis, but i hope to keep you all entertained for those that ARE interested.
i will soon update you all with a more interesting email as i am going to fiddle with this blog a little more. Have a fantabulous day!

-samara