In 3 years time a lot can happen! You know, I actually forgot that I had this blog... but it has been SO incredibly refreshing and amazing to read my old posts from the past and to know how God has answered, changed, pushed, pulled, moved and healed me since the last time I wrote.
There is something to be said about writing. It's freeing and can also be considered therapy for some. All to say, I am going to try and give this blog another try. In 3 years time a lot has happened in our life, and I am not going to claim to catch up the past 3 years of our life, but I will say this...it is my goal to use this as a place to continue to share and grow.
Life is an interesting thing and even more so when we are following Jesus. He has taken me many places that I never thought I would be taken. Not necessarily physically speaking, but emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Jesus has caused my life to be nothing like I had necessarily dreamed of as a little girl or even as a college student, but it has been MORE then I could have imagined for myself.
I am thankful for the past 3 years....and here's to many more full of LIFE!
3.18.2011
6.19.2008
summer-rest
As you can see i finally got some pictures up! it took me a little while to figure it out, but they are on!
yes, we are still in the porcess of finding someone to buy our lovely townhouse- if you know anyone interested please don't hesistate to leave a comment or give us a ring! ha!
my sister and her family just left this past week on their missional journey around the US. I am so excited for them and anxious to hear about their many stories. If you don't know they are traveling around the US in an RV to minister to the homeless and helping churches get connected to these marginalized people. It's exciting and something that God is truly going to meet them in a place of utter selflessness.
My sister and i are very close- i don't think it's truly hit me yet that she is far, far away. I am used to her living close by so that i can just give her a ring and stop by to hang out or have coffee and chat. I am so proud to be her little sis and couldn't ask for a better model to follow!
In the midst of family leaving (seren, andy and their 3 kids) my job is over for the summer since i work at a school. I have found that i have time on my hands that i haven't had in a while. Granted we do have other things going on and i am working part-time, but God has truly given Cory and I some time to just reflect and seek Him out. Some could go crazy with "time on their hands" and i could be one of those, but i am conciously trying to fill it with good things. Family, friends, reading, gardening, etc. This is what summer is all about right?
The Lord is taking Cory and I into a place of complete surrender and trust with our home, work, school, etc. I am thankful for a time of rest to focus on Him!
yes, we are still in the porcess of finding someone to buy our lovely townhouse- if you know anyone interested please don't hesistate to leave a comment or give us a ring! ha!
my sister and her family just left this past week on their missional journey around the US. I am so excited for them and anxious to hear about their many stories. If you don't know they are traveling around the US in an RV to minister to the homeless and helping churches get connected to these marginalized people. It's exciting and something that God is truly going to meet them in a place of utter selflessness.
My sister and i are very close- i don't think it's truly hit me yet that she is far, far away. I am used to her living close by so that i can just give her a ring and stop by to hang out or have coffee and chat. I am so proud to be her little sis and couldn't ask for a better model to follow!
In the midst of family leaving (seren, andy and their 3 kids) my job is over for the summer since i work at a school. I have found that i have time on my hands that i haven't had in a while. Granted we do have other things going on and i am working part-time, but God has truly given Cory and I some time to just reflect and seek Him out. Some could go crazy with "time on their hands" and i could be one of those, but i am conciously trying to fill it with good things. Family, friends, reading, gardening, etc. This is what summer is all about right?
The Lord is taking Cory and I into a place of complete surrender and trust with our home, work, school, etc. I am thankful for a time of rest to focus on Him!
4.28.2008
I thought it was high time that i wrote something agian on my blog. Life just keeps happening whether or not we have time to sit down and blog about it!
Spring seems to always bring change, no matter how big or small. Well ours is the former in my eyes, but in God's eyes it's the later.
We are selling our home (which is on Craigslist) not a small feat at the moment. It doesn't seem to be the best time to really be wanting to sell a home, especially when you want it to selly by June.
God has definately been stretching me through this process, and boy has it been a process. He originally called me out of the home taking me out of comfort from our place of living and my job. Since then God hasn't stopped stretching me. He has given us a roommate which has been stretching but a blessing too! I am enjoying living in community and think it's awesome how I have realized how we are meant to really live like this.
Through all of these changes and challenges God has been good! He is always good no matter what and always worthy of priase! This is something i am constantly learning and holding onto even when I am down or feel pushed beyond my limits, God is always good and worth praising!
Spring seems to always bring change, no matter how big or small. Well ours is the former in my eyes, but in God's eyes it's the later.
We are selling our home (which is on Craigslist) not a small feat at the moment. It doesn't seem to be the best time to really be wanting to sell a home, especially when you want it to selly by June.
God has definately been stretching me through this process, and boy has it been a process. He originally called me out of the home taking me out of comfort from our place of living and my job. Since then God hasn't stopped stretching me. He has given us a roommate which has been stretching but a blessing too! I am enjoying living in community and think it's awesome how I have realized how we are meant to really live like this.
Through all of these changes and challenges God has been good! He is always good no matter what and always worthy of priase! This is something i am constantly learning and holding onto even when I am down or feel pushed beyond my limits, God is always good and worth praising!
1.28.2008
Pointing to Jesus
I had a unique opportunity yesterday to speak with someone I had not spoken to for a long time. Within that time this person had lost their son in a terrible tragedy and therefore has been struggling with depression, daily. I don't think she is a Christian, but I don't think she is against believeing in God. The only reason why I know this is because in my conversation with her yesterday the Lord was tugging at me to ask her if she had a relationship with the Lord.
For whatever reasons I never ended up asking her and just stood there praying for her as we were talking. Our discussion was hard as I listened I heard her spirit cry out for something, anything to keep her going. She told me she didn't have much more to live for. It was also in this moment that I was confused, hurting for her and scared all at the same time. Of course our situation wasn't ideal for me to mention Christ or what He had done for her ( a soccer game of course) but when is it ever the right time?
I went home that day wondering why I had not mentioned Jesus' name, or even asked her where she stood in her faith, or if she even had any. I prayed about it and gracefully the Lord has taught me something profound through this situation.
He told me that as a believer in His Son, I will be given the job of pointing toward Jesus daily. That many opportunities will arise for me to share my faith and give someone else the opportunity to accept Him. It was in this that it became more visible as to why God even uses me. He longs to use us and each day He tries to use us, but it's ultimately our decision to say "yes" today I will accept the mission I have been given. Today I will share You with others and not keep you hidden. The Lord told me that my faith is not judged, nor is it measured by whether or not I told that lady yesterday about Jesus. He told me that He doesn't love me any less either. He did say that in order for me to grow deeper with Him I will eventually need to obey and know that He is speaking. That in those moments that I hear His still small voice, I will choose to speak and not remain silent.
This small but profound moment, causes me to choose to be BOLD! I choose today to share Jesus where needed. I will continue to look to Jesus in order to be prepared for the people He may give into my life to share His Son with.
For whatever reasons I never ended up asking her and just stood there praying for her as we were talking. Our discussion was hard as I listened I heard her spirit cry out for something, anything to keep her going. She told me she didn't have much more to live for. It was also in this moment that I was confused, hurting for her and scared all at the same time. Of course our situation wasn't ideal for me to mention Christ or what He had done for her ( a soccer game of course) but when is it ever the right time?
I went home that day wondering why I had not mentioned Jesus' name, or even asked her where she stood in her faith, or if she even had any. I prayed about it and gracefully the Lord has taught me something profound through this situation.
He told me that as a believer in His Son, I will be given the job of pointing toward Jesus daily. That many opportunities will arise for me to share my faith and give someone else the opportunity to accept Him. It was in this that it became more visible as to why God even uses me. He longs to use us and each day He tries to use us, but it's ultimately our decision to say "yes" today I will accept the mission I have been given. Today I will share You with others and not keep you hidden. The Lord told me that my faith is not judged, nor is it measured by whether or not I told that lady yesterday about Jesus. He told me that He doesn't love me any less either. He did say that in order for me to grow deeper with Him I will eventually need to obey and know that He is speaking. That in those moments that I hear His still small voice, I will choose to speak and not remain silent.
This small but profound moment, causes me to choose to be BOLD! I choose today to share Jesus where needed. I will continue to look to Jesus in order to be prepared for the people He may give into my life to share His Son with.
1.18.2008
2008
I know the year 2008 is going to be something to remember. It was about this time last year that the Lord began to speak to me about who He really is and how He wants to use me.
That is actually the whole reason why I began to use this blog in the first place. A place where I could write down my thoughts, frustrations and revelations! A place where I could be encouraged by others and for God to encourage others through me as well.
January must have some sort of significance to it because the Lord has been clearly speaking to me again. This time it's a different type of speaking, He is teaching me about the eyes and ears of my heart.
This week has been a very draining week; spiritually and physically. I wasn't quite expecting to experience some of the emotions and thoughts that I have had in the past days, but they have been good... hard but good.
A couple of days ago we had some students from the H.S. over to our home to watch a DVD about the Ugandan children. The DVD is called "Invisible Children" and for those of you who don't know what it is, I will post a linc. Anyway, these children leave their homes and families because of what is going on in their country. Rebbels are forcing the children to fight in a war to take over their own government. The children are trained to kill, fight and live with the army that they have built. The documentary we watched is very hard to see. The children that flee their homes, schools and families go into the city to find a safe place to live so that they are not taken captive inot this war. It was in this story that the Lord began to show me how it must feel to be one of those children. At one point the interviewer asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy couldn't look into the camera and was on the verg of crying the entire time. It was in this instant that I could see and feel how much pain, shame, and guilt this little boy had from that very simple question. A question that we as American's get almost every day as a young student. But this question wasn't so simple for this young boy (12). Inside there wasn't a reason for an answer, no hope for an answer. When the boy did answer he said he wanted to be a teacher.
The next day I had a similar experience of something God was trying to show me. There is a girl here at our H.S. that has many emotional issues. She suffers from depression and other self-destructing symptoms and there have been many days that I have sat with her and tried to comfort her. But on this particular day it wasn't just a manic girl that I saw. I saw a girl who was sad, so sad that she couldn't be normal like the other kids. A girl that was tired of fighting whatever it was inside of her that made her want to hurt herself.
That day I went home and cried for the hurting children in our world. For not only the children, but the people that suffer for no reason. The Lord allowed me to feel just a tiny bit of what He feels every single moment. It was too much! I asked the Lord to take it away because I couldn't do it.
Our church is presenting the opportunity for a fast January 28th-February 1st and I am anxious to see what He chooses to do with that time. The Lord is faithful and I am waiting expectantly for what He wants to do through me and how He wants me to pray!
Psalm 96
That is actually the whole reason why I began to use this blog in the first place. A place where I could write down my thoughts, frustrations and revelations! A place where I could be encouraged by others and for God to encourage others through me as well.
January must have some sort of significance to it because the Lord has been clearly speaking to me again. This time it's a different type of speaking, He is teaching me about the eyes and ears of my heart.
This week has been a very draining week; spiritually and physically. I wasn't quite expecting to experience some of the emotions and thoughts that I have had in the past days, but they have been good... hard but good.
A couple of days ago we had some students from the H.S. over to our home to watch a DVD about the Ugandan children. The DVD is called "Invisible Children" and for those of you who don't know what it is, I will post a linc. Anyway, these children leave their homes and families because of what is going on in their country. Rebbels are forcing the children to fight in a war to take over their own government. The children are trained to kill, fight and live with the army that they have built. The documentary we watched is very hard to see. The children that flee their homes, schools and families go into the city to find a safe place to live so that they are not taken captive inot this war. It was in this story that the Lord began to show me how it must feel to be one of those children. At one point the interviewer asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy couldn't look into the camera and was on the verg of crying the entire time. It was in this instant that I could see and feel how much pain, shame, and guilt this little boy had from that very simple question. A question that we as American's get almost every day as a young student. But this question wasn't so simple for this young boy (12). Inside there wasn't a reason for an answer, no hope for an answer. When the boy did answer he said he wanted to be a teacher.
The next day I had a similar experience of something God was trying to show me. There is a girl here at our H.S. that has many emotional issues. She suffers from depression and other self-destructing symptoms and there have been many days that I have sat with her and tried to comfort her. But on this particular day it wasn't just a manic girl that I saw. I saw a girl who was sad, so sad that she couldn't be normal like the other kids. A girl that was tired of fighting whatever it was inside of her that made her want to hurt herself.
That day I went home and cried for the hurting children in our world. For not only the children, but the people that suffer for no reason. The Lord allowed me to feel just a tiny bit of what He feels every single moment. It was too much! I asked the Lord to take it away because I couldn't do it.
Our church is presenting the opportunity for a fast January 28th-February 1st and I am anxious to see what He chooses to do with that time. The Lord is faithful and I am waiting expectantly for what He wants to do through me and how He wants me to pray!
Psalm 96
12.05.2007
Beautiful Mountains!
It's like I have writer's block or something, I have so many things to say but don't quite know where to start.
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about being obedient to Him. I just started a new study with my bible study group called How to Hear God's Voice by Mark Virkler. I am very excited to dive in and soak up every single little thing the Lord has for me in it!
This is all leading to say that the Lord longs to speak to us so much more than we can hear Him. I tend to get frustrated when I go up and down with my ability to hear God and can't quite stay on an even level with it all. But I am learning that if I were to stay on that same level all the time I wouldn't be growing with Him. I am learning that with God leading the way there will be ups and downs as I am climbing that mountain. And once I reach the top there is just going to be another one that I will have to climb.
A couple of weeks ago Cory and I had an interesting thing happen where someone came out to look at the home we were renting from the church. He was an investor and wanted to look into using the homes for ministry purposes. Let's just say many feelings were going on inside me and the moment the man left I broke down into tears. I started asking God why this was happening and that I didn't understand.
Later that afternoon I went for a run. I could sense that God really wanted to speak to me, so as I was listening to worship music He began to speak. "Samara, why are you scared? Why do you care so much if you loose this home? You know that I will take care of you! I have already asked you to go over a mountain once before, so why do you insist on being content with the little hills? If I ask you to go over another mountain I can guarantee it won't be easy, but I will be with you! I will help you!
As I continued my run I realized that every time I go on this particular route I skip a large hill and just turn arond and go back. This time the Lord wanted me to go up it, so I did. Once I got to the top He asked me "What do you see?" All around me was beautiful sceenery, mountains, and a gorgeous sky. He said "Every time you climb a mountain with me you can see more of My beauty!"
I long to be obedient, I strive to be obedient to what God is saying to me. Often times I fail, but I keep trying. I get back up and allow the Lord to comfort me even when I don't feel worthy of it.
I am excited to learn how to better hear God's voice. It's something that I yearn for each day.
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about being obedient to Him. I just started a new study with my bible study group called How to Hear God's Voice by Mark Virkler. I am very excited to dive in and soak up every single little thing the Lord has for me in it!
This is all leading to say that the Lord longs to speak to us so much more than we can hear Him. I tend to get frustrated when I go up and down with my ability to hear God and can't quite stay on an even level with it all. But I am learning that if I were to stay on that same level all the time I wouldn't be growing with Him. I am learning that with God leading the way there will be ups and downs as I am climbing that mountain. And once I reach the top there is just going to be another one that I will have to climb.
A couple of weeks ago Cory and I had an interesting thing happen where someone came out to look at the home we were renting from the church. He was an investor and wanted to look into using the homes for ministry purposes. Let's just say many feelings were going on inside me and the moment the man left I broke down into tears. I started asking God why this was happening and that I didn't understand.
Later that afternoon I went for a run. I could sense that God really wanted to speak to me, so as I was listening to worship music He began to speak. "Samara, why are you scared? Why do you care so much if you loose this home? You know that I will take care of you! I have already asked you to go over a mountain once before, so why do you insist on being content with the little hills? If I ask you to go over another mountain I can guarantee it won't be easy, but I will be with you! I will help you!
As I continued my run I realized that every time I go on this particular route I skip a large hill and just turn arond and go back. This time the Lord wanted me to go up it, so I did. Once I got to the top He asked me "What do you see?" All around me was beautiful sceenery, mountains, and a gorgeous sky. He said "Every time you climb a mountain with me you can see more of My beauty!"
I long to be obedient, I strive to be obedient to what God is saying to me. Often times I fail, but I keep trying. I get back up and allow the Lord to comfort me even when I don't feel worthy of it.
I am excited to learn how to better hear God's voice. It's something that I yearn for each day.
10.30.2007
Called...
I just recently have started a book that I read a long time ago and decided to read again. It's called "Called To Honor Him" by a guy who helped start a ministry with Youth With A Mission. I started reading it last night and the Lord already began to speak to me through it.
The author Sosene talks about how the Lord called him into the ministry that he is in now, but that it took a lot of growth and learning to get him there.
He wrote "I couldn't wait to find out what God was going to do next. I didn't understand that i had an awful lot of growing and learning to do before He would- or perhaps could- do anything else. Because I had been in church every Sunday for so many years, I suppose I vaguely knew the biblical account of the Apostle Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. But what i didn't remember was that after that experience Paul went into the desert for three years to be made ready for the work God wanted him to do."
As I sat on the couch this morning reading those very words the Lord spoke to me right where i was at saying, "Samara, even though I have a plan for you and Cory a ministry that I have called you to, I need to teach you a few things before we can get there. You aren't ready and if I were to send you now it wouldn't be as amazing as it could be, then if I were to prepare you for the next few years."
Looking back on my journey as a born again Christian the past 7 years have been full of moments like these. There have been times that the Lord wanted to take me to the next level but He needed to teach me something first. There have also been times when i didn't listen to God and went my own direction and now I see how much of a failure those times were.
It's amazing to me how God doesn't let go of His call on our lives. It's been 7 years in the making and counting that I first knew I was called to work in missions. God is so faithful and good to place a hunger and call on Cory's life for this exact thing too! We are anxiously waiting for this time to come, but in the mean time we are trying to soak up all that the Lord wants to teach us!
The author Sosene talks about how the Lord called him into the ministry that he is in now, but that it took a lot of growth and learning to get him there.
He wrote "I couldn't wait to find out what God was going to do next. I didn't understand that i had an awful lot of growing and learning to do before He would- or perhaps could- do anything else. Because I had been in church every Sunday for so many years, I suppose I vaguely knew the biblical account of the Apostle Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. But what i didn't remember was that after that experience Paul went into the desert for three years to be made ready for the work God wanted him to do."
As I sat on the couch this morning reading those very words the Lord spoke to me right where i was at saying, "Samara, even though I have a plan for you and Cory a ministry that I have called you to, I need to teach you a few things before we can get there. You aren't ready and if I were to send you now it wouldn't be as amazing as it could be, then if I were to prepare you for the next few years."
Looking back on my journey as a born again Christian the past 7 years have been full of moments like these. There have been times that the Lord wanted to take me to the next level but He needed to teach me something first. There have also been times when i didn't listen to God and went my own direction and now I see how much of a failure those times were.
It's amazing to me how God doesn't let go of His call on our lives. It's been 7 years in the making and counting that I first knew I was called to work in missions. God is so faithful and good to place a hunger and call on Cory's life for this exact thing too! We are anxiously waiting for this time to come, but in the mean time we are trying to soak up all that the Lord wants to teach us!
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